One of the "jobs" of a mom is to come up with new, cheap, & exciting things to do when your lucking enough to be around your children. Your off work, sort of relaxed, and ready to do something, right? Most of the time. But sometimes, good grief, your so tired from the work week and daily tasks that its hard to find any ounce of energy left to give. Would I really like to take a nap? Yes. Would I really(deep down) want to have a massage? Yes. Would I change it for the world that I can't? No.
It's hard to find things that both my kids want to do. Well, one is four and one is ten, you do the math. One wants to go go go, while the other is perfectlty content on watching cartoons for twenty four hours if I let him. One could eat mac and cheese every day all day,while the other wants chicken tenders 24-7. So,finding something that both of them "want" to do, is damn near impossible. What happend to the days when you could say "go outside and play" without fearing someone would kidnap your kids. Good grief, I can remember leaving on my bike for hours. Not anymore. So we put our kids in dance, soccer, baseball, drama, etc. etc. Hopeing their getting enough "play" time.
The last time we signed my son up for soccer, he took one look at the field then back at his ball and said "I'm not putting my ball down, the grass is wet." Well, ok then.
That was that. So instead we focussed on reading and learing letters. We'll try organized sports next year. HaHa

It's a bright, but cold, Saturday morning. I'm at the kitchen table with my hot cup of coffee. I look over at my son who has a haslenut covered bagel covering his mouth. My daughter looks at him and giggles and looks back at me. I start laughing. Very good start to a day. Then the fighting begins...
"sissy, stop looking at me" my son says. "Mom, he touched me" my daughter cries.
Yep, I knew that moment wouldn't last very long.
But, I'll remember those precious moments, even if they are far and few between them.

Okay, so I was looking at my coffee table when I got home and this is what I found:
Dirty socks
Small square Thomas the train pillow
Three channel changers
Bop it game
GI Joe Tank
Box of Tissues
Unplugged heating pad
Unplayed Leapster
Etch-A-Sketch
Chuck E Cheese Plastic Cup
Child's book
I pod
Empty plastic Easter egg
Plastic fish
Squishy Lizard
Yellow Highlighter
Sticky note pad
Transformer toy
DS Game Holder
Plain white piece of paper
Empty santa peez container &
Pair of earings
And I wonder why my mind feel caiotic? It could be because my house is caos. Then I think about when my kids will be gone. How empty and "put together" my house will be...how lonely that will feel. So instead of "freaking out" about how dirty, messy, or non-organized the house is, I will first take a moment to enjoy that it is not.

I was thinking today. I love my children, I love my husband, but I don't know what I would do without my close friends. You know, the friends you can make fun of, who can make fun of you(without getting pissed), the friends you can tell your deep dark secrets to, the friends you know won't judge you for those secrets, the friends who, although may not be biological, that are your family.I am so grateful for those relationships. Although they are far and few between, I am so glad I have them. You know who you are. Don't forget to tell those people how much their friendships mean to you this week.

It has been awhile since the last blog, but for good reason. Moms are busy. Is that a good enough reason? Yes it is. I have had more sickness in this household than I would ever care to admit.
Ryder(my four year old) started us out with a wonderful temp of 103,so off the urgent care we go. Diagnosis: Strep Throat. Two weeks later, my daughter Kailyn gets it. Then the worst patient of all a week later, myself, gets it, and I truely believed I was dying. I remember at one point looking over at my husband and saying "kill me now."
What is it about when moms get sick? I swear, my kids are so much more resilent. I get a fever and I become a total waste. I can't even function. So now, a couple of weeks later, and my son looks at me tonight and says "I'm hot and then cold." And so I think, Oh god, what now. He now has a 101.0, my husband is working third tonight, and I have to think of what to do tomorrow. Do I call in and risk the possibility of losing a job that I love, make my sleep deprived husband watch and care for our sick child, or pray tonight hoping that the temp is just a fluke?
Only time will tell.
Life of a mom.

My Job Description

Okay, so I've been thinking about what my job description is in my house. This is what I've come up with.
Breakfast, Lunch, & Dinner Cook
Bath Giver, Teeth Brusher, Butt Wiper
Bo Bo Kisser, Band aid Giver, Wound Checker
Homework Helper, Teacher Note Writer, Field Trip Money Giver
Fight Referee, Moral Teacher, Discipline Giver
Lego Finder, Toy Picker Upper, Chore Giver
Laundry Maid, Bed Changer, Pull Up Giver
Bill Payer, Errand Runner, Grocery Shopper
Picture Taker, Clothes Picker Outer, Hair Putter Upper
Hair Cutter, Appointment Maker, and Book reader.

Damn, I need a raise

Well, Christmas is over and another year has past. Every time around this time of year, I think about all that I've done(or haven't done for that matter). What goals do I want to accomplish this year? What would I have done differently? Do I even want to attempt new year's resolutions? I know alot of people who look down upon resolutions. Why? I think the fear of never following through is tough for people, but for me those resolutions keep me grounded. Subconsciously, I think everyone makes those promises to themselves every year. Whether or not they follow through with them just means living and learning. Disappointment is just part of life. I would rather be disappointed than not feel anything at all.

My children, I believe, had a great Christmas. Is the definition of a "good" Christmas mean lots of presents? Unfortunatley, my children would probably say yes, but for me it was about making memories. Did our family make memories? Yes, the bad, good, and ugly, we made memmories. This year seemed bitter sweet though. I think it will be the last Christmas my first born will believe in Santa Claus. She may not believe now, but I'd like to think she did. Sitting there on Christmas morning watching my four year old scream with delight at all Santa had brought just made me think back to my own childhood. I can remember having the most amazing holidays. I think what made them so special was I knew how hard my parents worked to make them spectacular. I can remember at an early age that my parents were doing the buying for Christmas. I can't remember when I found out, but is was early in life. I believe I've done a pretty good job in keeping my children in childhood.

Do I struggle as a mom everyday of my life? Yes. Do I doubt myself and my choices every waking moment in the day? Yes. Do I believe I could always be doing more? Yes. But, with all these questions, I still believe no one could love them like I do. No one will make a scrap feel better, make a sick child chicken soup, or give kisses like I do. I can remember my mom caring for me and my late brother when we were sick. She has been a nurse for as long as I can remember, and no one did it better than her. She had the "healing" touch every mother must obtain at birth. Hell, I still want my mom when I'm sick.

I can remember an incident not too long ago when my son was up all night vomiting with some kind of stomach bug. I litteraly had run out of clean sheets and had to compromise by sleeping next to him with towels to catch the vomit. Now I don't know about you, but I believe that is the definition of motherly love. So why is it we still don't think we do enough as parents? Could it be that nap I took on the couch earlier while I put a movie on for my kids? Could it be that peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made for dinner? Or how about the skipped bath we obtain a couple of times a week when I feel as though I can not even keep my eyes open? Yeah, we doubt ourselves everyday. I figure if I can limit the amount of therapy to a bare minimum that they need as adults, then I've done my job.